What Customers Mean
     
     
"Let me in I know what I want"
Translation: "I'm so hopelessly dumb I had to show up after you closed"

"You closed 2 minutes early!!"
Translation: "Maybe if I make a scene they'll let me in"

"I bought this earlier and it doesn't work!!"
Translation : "I'm idiot and I don't have the intelligence to read manuals or instructions, please take pity on me"

"I'm never coming here again!"
Translation : "I'm going to come in every day and bitch about the service and make your lives miserable!"

"You don't like me because I'm (enter ethnicity)"
Translation: "My attempts to scam, steal, badger you into a discount, subvert policy or return something without a receipt have failed, so I am going to play the race card and attempt to terrify you with threats of suing the store, having you fired, and having you arrested."

"Are You SURE?"
Translation: "I don't like the information I have just got because it does not go in my favour."

"You give terrible customer service!"
Translation: "You didn't kiss my arse!"

"I have spent thousands here, and how can you treat me this way?"
Translation: "I have only bought a few things here and I want you to think that I am the most valuable customer on earth and your business will cease to exist if I don't shop here."

"Are you open?"
Translation: "Despite the fact that your lights are on, your doors are unlocked, and you guys are behind the counter, I'm still not sure."

"I'd like to return these speakers. I've never used them."
Translation: "I only needed them for my party over the weekend, and besides they're blown now anyway."

"There's something wrong with the computer you sold me."
Translation: "I'm too stupid to own a computer and you shouldn't have sold me one."
 
 

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